© 2019 by eLmo

There is really not much to say: I have 3 trained Panda Bodyguards (Very hard to train - trust me) - one on duty at all times - alternating every 8 hours. I am actually considering getting a few more bodyguards trained... these pandas are extremely lazy when its cold out - A few more in the ranks would also increase moral and build brotherhood between the pandas. I personally prefer the look of a bamboo stick as the weapon of choice for my bodyguards - but unfortunately, due to the pandas eating their weapons by the end of the shift - I had to switch to a solid inch-and-a-quarter (OD) stainless steel type 316 pipe, and they are not hollow - solid steel. The pandas use them as barbells with the intense training program maintained each day by my personal trainers. Then there are the containers down @ the pier (or "Museum of the Dinosaurs of Trade" as I commonly refer to it as) - I own 5 containers - Which are constantly maintained with a fresh supply of bamboo to feed my panda army.

Did you know that a panda can eat up to 76 pounds of bamboo a day?

e █▄ mo
Seattle, WA

  • White Facebook Icon
  • eLmo on Twitter
  • eLmo on Soundcloud
  • eLmo on YouTube